Episode 6: The Pit

6 – The Pit

A reunion occurs behind closed doors.

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Voices in order of appearance: Charles Hubbell as Narrator; Rusty Diamond as Chris; Andrew Santoro as David; Janet Fogg as Jo Ann; Erin Farsté as Edie; Joe Cocozzello as Bobby Two-Hands; Yasin Elabdi as XO.

Cover art by Robert James Algeo. Intro Theme by Just Star Stuff.

Content Notes: Screaming. Swearing. Coughing. Discussion of illness and death. Respiratory problems. Mention of organ failure.

Illustrated Transcripts for every episode and in-between are available to all Patreon members.

And here is the plain text transcript:

6 – The Pit

NARRATOR: This is not a love story. We fell in love and we never stopped falling.

INTRO THEME: Tense strings enter. Cut.

NARRATOR: Episode 6: The Pit.

FADE IN atmosphere: Cargo Bay ambience. Humming machinery, deep engine buzz.

CHRIS: You want to let us in on what’s going on?

DAVID: (Under his breath) Fuck.

CHRIS: Don’t act like this doesn’t involve you, bro. We’re not idiots.

JO ANN: Oh look, we’re all matching!

DAVID: You… You shouldn’t be here. None of you should be here.

JO ANN: Oh, come now. (laughs) Grey’s not really my color. Or jumpsuits for that matter, it really doesn’t flatter my curves. But Edie, you could pull off a potato sack.

EDIE: Let’s not do this right now, Jo Ann.

JO ANN: What do you think, David? Does this jumpsuit show off my curves?

DAVID: Oh my god.

CHRIS: Where should we be, David?

DAVID: How long have you guys been here?

CHRIS: Long enough to set up a pretty comfy bivouac.

DAVID: What? With what?

CHRIS: Don’t worry about it, it holds.

DAVID: What could you possibly make a lean-to with?

CHRIS: Just some junk lying around. Don’t worry about it.

DAVID: What junk?

Chris walks away, squeaking footsteps and canvas jumpsuit rustling.

CHRIS: (DISTANT) Geez, hot shot engineer’s brother can’t make as good a structure as him?

JO ANN: David, that’s not fair to say about your brother. Chris has surgical hands.

EDIE: That doesn’t mean anything.

Jo Ann laughs and walks away, jumpsuit rustling.

JO ANN: Come on, Davy. Chris wants you to appraise his hard work. Be nice.

Edie and David walk together, David’s toolbelt jangles as he walks.

JO ANN: (DISTANT) He always looked up to his younger brother, you know.

DAVID: I don’t know, no.

EDIE: (whisper to David) I’m sorry. I thought you knew who was all here.


DAVID: Nothing. (whisper to Edie) Is there anyone else I should know about?

Jo Ann coughs. Loud, wet, productive.

JO ANN: (DISTANT) Here we are!

CHRIS: (DISTANT) It’s not much, but it’s home.

David and Edie arrive. Footsteps stop.

CHRIS: Well? It’s ’bout a day’s work, but it’ll shelter us from any storm.

DAVID: You ripped up biohazard suits. Of course you did.

JO ANN: So that’s what they were. I thought they were like silly raincoats.

CHRIS: Lay it straight, David, are we in for a doomsday scenario?

DAVID: Lay it straight?

CHRIS: Like piping.

JO ANN: Like icing!

CHRIS: Got a problem? I’m just messing, bro.

DAVID: We’re not in a good scenario. Chris. We’re in a cargo bay of a space ship, light-years away from a cold, dying Earth.

JO ANN: Goodness gracious. Well, honey, thank you for taking us with you.

DAVID: Are you kidding me?

In the distance a dull alarm sounds, unintelligible.

DAVID: Did you catch that?

EDIE: It’s the computer voice.

CHRIS: Whoa, hold on, man. Is that like some Willow smart home shit?

EDIE: We’re on a space ship, Chris.

DAVID: Oh no, that’s the door.

David sprints. The closer he gets, it’s clear the door is CLOSING.


XO: (DISTANT) Cargo Bay locked.

David keeps running. Panting.

DAVID: FUCK me. Fuck!

David arrives at the door. He weakly smacks a fist against the door. Then a harder smack.

Edie runs up to him.


DAVID: Fuck.

EDIE: Are you alright? What happened?

Chris and Jo Ann trot up to them, jumpsuits rustling, squeaky shoes.

DAVID: Who was that?

EDIE: Who was who? You mean who opened the door?

DAVID: No, who left?

CHRIS: (panting) Come on, you know.

DAVID: No. I don’t. Tell me who got let through the door while I was busy looking at the pile of life support you destroyed.

CHRIS: Whoa, hey. We needed shelter and there’s still tons of suits, relax. It was the plan.

JO ANN: We thought it was your plan.

DAVID: Make sense!

EDIE: I wasn’t part of a plan, David I swear.

Deep pulsing beat softly swells up.

CHRIS: You had to swap out.

DAVID: Swap out?

EDIE: That was the other David, wasn’t it.

JO ANN: It was your plan, Davy. We’re just living in your world.

CHRIS: You’re the real David, aren’t you?


CHRIS: Other David’s taking care of it. He was here before all of us. He’ll fill you in once he’s done.

DAVID: Done with what?

CHRIS: We’ll find out.

JO ANN: I trust in all my Davies. Or, are you upset?

David pounds on the door repeatedly.

The pulsing ends.


JO ANN: Oh, my baby. I’m sorry. We thought we were doing what you would want. How can I make this better?

DAVID: Tell me everything. Is there anyone else?!

EDIE: Yeah. In the shelter.

DAVID: Who? –Show me.

CHRIS: Was tryna earlier. Cheer up. You’ll be happy to see him.

DAVID: Wait. Just tell me.

CHRIS: Come on.

David pushes buttons. BEEP BEEP BEEP. He smacks the door.

JO ANN: That door doesn’t open just because you want it to. Or does it? I suppose you’d know more than me, my space engineer. I never knew you liked space. You always kept your head in the sand the way I saw it. (laughs) David, you hear me? David? David? You’re not answering. David?




Edie and David go silent long before Chris.

CHRIS: (Coughs) I’m getting so PUMPED! Are we gonna smash it down!? (Cough) Let’s GO! WHOO!

David walks away from him.

DAVID: I, I need to be alone. I need to think.

JO ANN: (DISTANT) You made him leave again.

CHRIS: (DISTANT) Ah, I was just trying to bond on his terms, Mom. You were the one who kept pestering him!

JO ANN: (DISTANT) We’re in space. I didn’t know if he could hear me. I panicked.

Edie gives chase, catching up with David.

EDIE: Baby.

DAVID: I’m sorry you ever met them.

EDIE: You’re a good person. Bringing them even though they suck… I hate to see you so upset.

DAVID: Edie, I’d only pick you. Alright?

EDIE: You’re my only pick, too.

DAVID: You seeing the problem here?

EDIE: You didn’t clone them?

DAVID: How do they always ruin everything? I left the fucking Earth to get away from them and yet…

EDIE: If I was…Was I–was the not-clone Edie already gone when you…uh…

DAVID: You were the only thing that kept me there. That could have kept me there.

EDIE: Are you happier now?

DAVID: Right now?

EDIE: I mean, before we showed up. I know you said that’s a bad thing.

DAVID: Baby. I had nowhere else to go.

EDIE: And here we all are.

DAVID: Ten fucking years. I missed you so much.

They hug.

EDIE: I’m not going to let go of you.

Chris and Jo Ann walk up.

CHRIS: (DISTANT) Hold up. We huggin’ now?

EDIE: They’ll have to pry me off.

JO ANN: This is so nice to see. I need a good hug, too.

Jo Ann latches onto them..

JO ANN: Mmmmmm.

Chris joins in, jumpsuits rustling.

CHRIS: We make a great dog pile.

JO ANN: This is all I could hope for, let the world just melt away.

CHRIS: I feel us all melting together, just one love blob.

JO ANN: Are our hearts beating in time?

CHRIS: Hold your breath, let’s find out.

Chris and Jo Ann inhale deep. The pulsing beat swells.

David wriggles out.

EDIE: You need to see the shelter.

DAVID: Who’s in it?

Chris and Jo Ann exhale out. The pulsing beat disappears.

JO ANN: They were.

CHRIS: You’re gonna be floored. Utterly devastated. In a good way.

Atmosphere stills. Shallow, rattling breaths break into a cough. The fabric crinkles as Chris pulls it aside for David.

DAVID: Holy fuck.

The coughing sounds painful, phlegm-y, deathly.

CHRIS: Don’t be like that. Say hello.

OLD FRIEND: (Slimy rattle) David…I have always wanted to tell you…


OLD FRIEND: I love you always and for–…

Silence. Stillness. Chris closes the flap and zips up the shelter. Atmosphere returns.

CHRIS: Let’s leave him be.

DAVID: What happened to him?

CHRIS: He seemed fine a few hours ago.

EDIE: He’s been covered in sticky sweat this whole time, and his legs…jello-fied.

CHRIS: He helped me build this shelter. Then he laid down in it before his legs, yeah, slimed out. But nice surprise, right?

DAVID: Who was that?

CHRIS: You don’t know? You remember.

DAVID: Chris.

CHRIS: Come on. You were best friends.

DAVID: Whoever that was, looked like they fell apart, to death.

CHRIS: Bobby? Bobby Two-Hands?

JO ANN: You used to spend all your summers together!

CHRIS: Do you want another look?

Chris jostles the shelter.

DAVID: You should get away from the shelter. Leave it be.

JO ANN: Chris spent so much time on it–

DAVID: Did he say who he was? Bobby?

An alien, bizarre gurgling emits from the tent. Bobby?

CHRIS: I think he heard you say his name. Yo Bobby? Bobby Two Hands.

Silence from the tent.

DAVID: Don’t touch that anymore. It could be irradiated. I don’t know if that was fully Bobby in there.

CHRIS: What do you mean? That’s the Bobby Two-hands. It’s kinda hard to tell now, but he’s definitely got two hands. I get your confusion, but he’s Bobby!

DAVID: Bobby, if he’s alive, could be in serious pain. He looked radically mutated, I don’t know if the human body can handle that. If there’s even anything human left in that tent.

CHRIS: Bobby Two-Hands is 100% human. And he’s still 100% alive.

DAVID: You can’t know that, Chris.

CHRIS: I can feel it. You don’t feel his heartbeat?

DAVID: No. In any case–

CHRIS: Hold your breath. I can feel everyone’s heartbeat here. Yours is the strongest.

JO ANN: I feel so wonderfully connected to all you here. I feel Bobby, too. I can sense how much he cares about you, David. Tell me you feel that.

CHRIS: I don’t know if I ever got to tell you…Bobby and I are on the same wavelength. I love ya, bro.

Chris pats David on the back. Wet, sticky hand.

JO ANN: You know how much I love you, David. Every day, in every way, my sweet baby.

DAVID: Stop it.

JO ANN: I know that a mother’s love is an enduring bond. And it brought us back together. (laughs) Wherever we are.

DAVID: I can’t do this.

CHRIS: Can’t what?

JO ANN: You don’t have to say it back. I can sense your love. It’s what’s stitching us all together.

CHRIS: Maybe Bobby’s love stitches got loose, and that’s why he’s so gross.

DAVID: I need to know more about the other David.

JO ANN: He said “I love you,” back, actually. Actually, it was nice to hear. If you wanted to try it. “I love you, too, Mommy!”

She laughs meekly.

DAVID: Does he look identical to me?

EDIE: It’s uncanny. He’s got your looks, but he doesn’t have the light in his eyes like you do. In my opinion.

CHRIS: He’s pretty cool. Kinda wish I’d grown up with him as a brother. Haha, just kidding David, I love you. Can’t stop saying it now that I popped that cork. Love ya.

JO ANN: I love you! It’s so freeing. David, try it out.

EDIE: I’d never confuse him for you, David.

JO ANN: No. Bless him, but he doesn’t have your vibrant, uplifting personality.

DAVID: (Monotone) He talked to you about a plan?

CHRIS: I helped him out a bit with the details. We were shooting blind daggers at what you’d do in this situation, and I like to think you’ll be pleased with the results.

EDIE: Just tell David what it is.

JO ANN: Something about a door. And swapping out. That’s when you showed up. So it seems to be working well so far.

DAVID: Why did he have a plan?

JO ANN: To give us a fighting chance. And we thought it was your plan.

CHRIS: Don’t you know more than the rest of us? Why don’t you tell us what’s going on?

EDIE: We’re not supposed to be here. David wasn’t expecting us all.

JO ANN: Well, we weren’t expecting to be here, either.

EDIE: We’re clones! Jo Ann, David’s not!

JO ANN: Is that true, David?

DAVID: Yeah. And it’s–

CHRIS: –Knew it.

DAVID: It’s a bad thing. So is clone David ‘swapping out.’ I need to get back to my crew.

CHRIS: Slow down. You cloned us?

JO ANN: That’s why we’re here?

DAVID: No. You’re a glaring mistake. You being here is proof that I have no idea how these tanks work.

JO ANN: Don’t say that, you’re smart when you apply yourself. And a glaring mistake is just a miracle with an attitude problem.

CHRIS: Is Bobby a clone, too?

EDIE: Definitely. Right? I mean.

CHRIS: Bobby Two-hands?

DAVID: Of course. And what happened to Bobby, could be something to do with how you were cloned. It must’ve been a rapid process, which could mean radiation, which would lead to the mutations we saw.

JO ANN: Oh my.

DAVID: I need to get out of here. You could be dealing with the same cloning side effects. I need to get help. Clone me could be making things worse for all of us.

CHRIS: And who are you going to get help from? The aliens that locked you in here?

DAVID: Aliens?

CHRIS: We’re on a space ship, David. Who else is locking a family in a warehouse out here?

DAVID: My crew. More accurately, I got locked in here by just one person, but honestly I can’t blame him now. I know somehow this is my fault, but I can’t even begin to guess how fucked we are.

JO ANN: What happened? I’m sure you didn’t do anything too bad, and even if you did, your mother will always love you regardless.

EDIE: We’ll help you anyway we can.

DAVID: We need to stop clone David. Can we do anything about that here?

CHRIS: Clone David said you might say that. And I’m supposed to tell you: What if there’s a reason we’re here? Huh?

DAVID: There’s not.

JO ANN: But you said these tanks weren’t even supposed to clone us, yet here we are.


JO ANN: Doesn’t that make this a miracle? Being together?

CHRIS: Yup. You implied it should be impossible, and we beat the odds.

DAVID: No one on this mission, including me, would ever confuse this for a miracle.

EDIE: You said you were locked in here. It already sounds like your crew isn’t on your side.

CHRIS: We are.

DAVID: There’s not sides to this. To me. There’s a mission, and everything going against it.

CHRIS: I’m telling you, hold your breath.


CHRIS: If you try it out, you get a better feel of all of us. You’ll feel our heartbeats, not your crew members. Guarantee it. Cuz that’s what I feel.

JO ANN: It’s a delightful feeling. To feel so close to you. Like the same David-animal.

Chris and Jo Ann inhale, deep. The pulsing beat swells briefly.

DAVID: I don’t feel close to you. I’m not going to. Stop talking for me. Stop talking. I can’t do this.

JO ANN: Do what? Chris is trying to show you–

DAVID: –I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t care. You never connected with me, you never cared about my feelings, I can’t keep pretending I care what you’re saying. Just tell me if I need to worry about you mess with the tanks.

CHRIS: Do you want us to?


JO ANN: What do you want us to do, Davy?

DAVID: You won’t stop talking! You don’t listen! How can I believe you mean it when you tell me we’re linked together by our love? Both of you.

JO ANN: We are linked by love.

CHRIS: We just are.

DAVID: I want you to say sorry and actually mean it. I want you to say you’re sorry for hanging your miseries on me my whole life, saddling me with nothing but debt and guilt and I want you to mean it.

CHRIS: I’m sorry.

JO ANN: I’m sorry, too. For hanging my miseries on you your whole life.

CHRIS: And saddling you with nothing but debt and guilt.

JO ANN: I’m sorry and I truly mean it.

CHRIS: Because I love you, and even though I didn’t say it as not-clone Chris, I mean it.

JO ANN: I will always love my baby. I know in my heart that that is what led us here. To be together.

CHRIS: Maybe realizing what love means is the reason we’re here.

DAVID: The reason I’m here, is to try and prevent my mission failing.

CHRIS: You might think you failed your mission, but that’s just what gets you to figure out the love equation.

DAVID: I have no idea what you’re getting at and I don’t care.

CHRIS: C’mon, it’s a sci fi classic. Our human brains can’t see the fifth dimension, but if we could, we’d see we’re all connected together in it. And some call that dimension: Love. Whatever you think the problem is, I guarantee you love is the answer. It always is in space movies. You need to open yourself to that love dimension, bro. We have, and I’m convinced that’s the real mission up here.

DAVID: You’re not here as a lesson from the universe.

JO ANN: You’re right, probably not. But something undeniable is happening. I think it’s fate.

CHRIS: Some suggest fate is just a guiding hand from a loving universe, or future humans. Or aliens. Same thing. Just love ya, David. That’s all it is.

EDIE: Maybe…this could be a second chance for us.

DAVID: I–I already said my goodbyes.

David starts to walk away.

CHRIS: Where’re you going?

DAVID: I’m not listening to this anymore. I have work I need to do.

Chris coughs, wet, strange.

CHRIS: We’re looking at the ending scene of every sci fi ever and you’re just gonna walk away real quick. Sure. Alright. Gonna feel real dumb when you come on back.

JO ANN: Don’t feel dumb, we’ll be here waiting for you when you come around. Can I just give you a hug?

Jo Ann squelches a sticky arm on David. She laughs, then wheezes.

JO ANN: Mmmm. Oh goodness, I ruined your jumpsuit. Let me clean it off.

She tries to remove her hand, it sticks. She dabs a sticky hand on the jumpsuit.

JO ANN: I think I’m just making it worse. Why don’t you hug me instead?

CHRIS: Group hugs are where it’s at.

David unsticks himself from her.

DAVID: If you love me so much, don’t touch anything, and leave me be.

Jo Ann coughs, sticky, alien, strange.

JO ANN: I suppose I can rest a bit.

CHRIS: (Coughs) Just do me a favor, and on your walk, try and open that steel-clamped heart of yours. Our lives depend on it.

David walks briskly. Edie pads over, sticky footsteps.

EDIE: Can I stay with you?

Jo Ann coughs in the distance.

EDIE: I’m still a little scared.

DAVID: Me, too.

EDIE: Am I your Edie?

EDIE: Because I at least know that you’re my David.

As she speaks her voice warps, sticky wet, alien.

EDIE: Because now that I’m here with you, you’ll have to pry me off. I love you so much. It hurts.

She coughs. Her voice returns to normal. David helps her sit down.

DAVID: Hey, let’s just sit here. Lean on me.

EDIE: I should say I’m sorry, too. For hanging my miseries on you, saddling you with nothing but debt and guilt and I mean it.

DAVID: No. You know what they’re like. You’re nothing like them.

EDIE: I’m sorry I died, and left you all alone.

DAVID: Don’t ever say that.

EDIE: I mean it, though.

DAVID: Don’t. You don’t apologize for that. Ever. You don’t say sorry for being who you were, for being in my life in every way you were.

Her breathing is uneasy, shallower.

DAVID: Sit down. Here.

They sit together. The pulsing beat slowly swells.

EDIE: I don’t want to be without you.

DAVID: I can’t do this again. I can’t watch you get worse and worse–

EDIE: –Is that how it happened?

DAVID: God, Edie.

EDIE: It’s okay. All I feel is your heartbeat. It’s mine. I’m scared you don’t feel it, but I hope you do.

David kisses her forehead. Sticky.

DAVID: I’ve changed a lot since you… I, I don’t know if I’m your David.

EDIE: You are! You are. If you don’t feel it, it’s me. It’s just me. I’m a clone, I understand. Just, it feels so real.

DAVID: It is real. You’re real. That’s why…it’s not fair. I don’t know if I can do this, Edie.

EDIE: You can. You can give us a chance. The other people on the ship, I know they wouldn’t.

DAVID: No, it’s not like that.

EDIE: What’s going to happen to us?

DAVID: I have to get out of this cargo bay. No matter what. And after that, I don’t know.

EDIE: Please stay here with me.

DAVID: I want to.

EDIE: They’ll kill us, won’t they. Or let us die here, let us fall apart in our depressing slop piles like your friend.

DAVID: No. No. I’m going to help you, Edie, but–please–I can’t help you in here, alone.

EDIE: Please. Don’t let go of me.

A sticky, strange embrace.

EDIE: I’m not your Edie, am I.

DAVID: You’re, um, you’re very close. You make this very difficult.

David gets up.

EDIE: I love you so much, David.

XO: (DISTANT) Cargo Bay access open. Cargo Bay unlocked.

The cargo bay door chugs open in the distance.

DAVID: It’s time. I gotta move.

EDIE: David. David…

Edie coughs. David sprints, panting.

DAVID: Edie.

All sound and ambience fade into the pulsing heartbeat.